Yikes, it's been two weeks since I've posted.  I wish that I had some things to truly update with. 

Connor is up to three solid feedings per day and he's rarely, if ever, picky about the foods he consumes.  Initially, he hates bananas and pears, now he eats them all without issue!  The same is true of all his green vegetables, too!

Now, we're just waiting for him to decide he wants to crawl.  For now he just rolls and scoots himself around on the floor finding random things to chew on.  No teeth yet, so when I say chew, I essentially mean gum.

Connor is jumping in his jumperoo beside me.  Completely oblivious to the reasons for his Mommy's tears.  The tears come in a constant flow; they stop, then begin again the second I imagine another family's pain.  In the Mom's group I'm in on Facebook, we learned that one of our own, a fellow August mother, lost her son yesterday to SIDS.  Her beautiful baby, not much younger than my own, passed in his sleep at day care. 

I look at Connor and I manage a smirk, but then I cry.  He doesn't know why I'm crying, he doesn't understand.  He doesn't realize how unfair it must feel for the parents of the life lost that my son is here, bouncing, smiling and laughing while their son can no longer.  It's not fair, I'll admit that.

Heaven gets angels every day, they didn't need this angel. 

Rest well, baby Easton.  Such a beautiful angel, gone much too soon.

Fastest six months of my life...

I need somewhere to put this for future reference.  I did not write this, but I love this.

It's three AM, they're all asleep,
and no-one's here to see.
As we rock slowly back and forth,
... ... My baby boy and me.

His little hand is feather light
Tucked up against my chin.
I hold his tiny hand in mine,
and stroke his baby skin.

The house about us creaks and groans,
The clock hands creep around.
He snuggles closer to me still,
And makes his baby sounds.

I love these quiet hours so much,
And cherish every one.
Store memories up inside my heart
For lonely nights to come.

All too soon he'll be grown up,
His need for mama gone.
But until then I still have time
For kisses and for song.

Time for quiet hours like this
With him cuddled in my arms,
Where I wish he'd always stay
Protected, safe and warm.

And yet I know the day will come
When his tiny little hand,
will be bigger than my own.
He'll grow to be a man.

But until then he's mine to love
With no one here to see.
As we rock slowly back and forth,
My baby boy and me.

-Anonymous

 

I suck at updating; I think I've mentioned this before.  I thought that I had enough to say to adequately blog on a regular basis.  I was wrong. 

Classes started last week.  I'm taking Probability and Statistics and Introduction to Business.  I'm not entirely sure why I'm taking Business, but it seemed like it could make some sense down the line.  I had tried taking Probability and Statistics online once, but realized quickly it's definitely something you have to take in person without prior experience of any sort. 

Connor is doing amazingly.  He's thisclose to figuring out how to sit up unassisted; he does it for about five to ten minutes before truly giving up.  He has also been enjoying sweet potatoes with his oatmeal.  He doesn't seem to love bananas and pears.  In fact, he threw the pears up!  He's been eating the bananas, but still grimaces at first bite.  He'll get used to it.  I truly need to start incorporating some green vegetables.

That's about all I have to say for now.  As I said before, I thought I had plenty to write about, but was mistaken!

It's snowing today.  I wish I enjoyed the snow.  It's pretty to look at; I'm staring out my large glass porch door and seeing it accumulate and can appreciate the beauty.  I've lived in New Hampshire my entire life, but I can't recall the last time I thought to myself, "Wow, I can't wait to be out in the snow!".

I imagine when I was a child, I liked it.  I can remember building snow forts, sledding and making snow angels.  I loved snow days.  It's sad that as we get older, things that once brought such amazement are nothing more than inconveniences.  Maybe when Connor gets older and can be brought out to play in the snow I'll like it.  I'm sure his innocent adoration of the soft, cold, fluffy presence that is snow will bring, at the very least, a smile to my face.

It's my favorite time of the day; Connor's in bed and I can enjoy some time to myself.  Does it make me a bad mother to have admitted that?  I mean, most mothers gush about spending time with their babies.  Don't get me wrong, I do love spending time with Connor.  I just love the period of time when I can take a deep breath and relax.  Besides, I'm anticipating he will wake up soon for a bottle; my mother-in-law put him down to bed and said he only ate two ounces.  Definitely not normal.

On a non-baby related note, I can't figure out what to do with my life.  I know that's not abnormal, but it's so frustrating.  I've been going to school (college) off and on for the past seven years.  I've accumulated an absurd amount of debt from taking these classes and don't yet have a degree to show for all of that time and money.  I've been taking classes pertaining to the Liberal Arts degree, but that obviously won't accomplish much when achieved.  I need to figure something out.  I think I need to make an appointment with a school counselor to ask for some advice.

Yikes, this blog is turning into a Livejournal.  I truly didn't want it to take that kind of format.  I guess it's hard to maintain a personal blog without making it... personal. 

Well, I guess I'll leave you with some pictures.  As usual! :)